Letter: The side of Bush we have yet to hear

Editor,

Here is an excerpt from the speech Bush wanted to give last week:

"My fellow Americans, as you know, I rarely stoop to speak directly to the unwashed masses, but tonight I am putting my profound contempt for humanity aside to feed you more worthless drivel that I'm sure you will eat up like so many Big Macs.

I am concerned that many of you are starting to wake up and realize that maybe everything is not as hunky-dory as my handlers claim. I am worried that my lies aren't good enough anymore. This will not stand.

So I have been forced to personally address you, the common people, whom I loathe with every fiber in my body, in order to assure you once and for all that I am your lord and master and you'd better believe what I say - no matter how outrageous or incredible it might be.

I speak to God every day, you know. And if you don't believe me, I'll have Vice President Cheney here kill you.

I won't be taking any questions this evening, because I don't like to answer questions from anyone. Besides, unless it's written right here on this paper in front of me, I wouldn't know what the hell to say.

Also note that I am speaking to you from Fort Bragg, in a room filled with gung-ho military cretins who have been programmed to applaud my every word, even though most of them have no idea what I'm saying. Do you, guys?

Now, look deeply into my eyes. You are getting sleepy, very sleepy.

We are winning the war. There is nothing to worry about. The killing must go on.

The point I am trying to make is that the war is going exactly as we planned. As long as my buddies can make a few bucks off of human misery, we're happy. And when I say a few bucks, I mean, of course, billions.

Don't expect an exit strategy any time soon, and pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."

End of excerpt.

Jason Darensburg

UNM student