by Riley Bauling
Daily Lobo
I said upon the death of Tony Dungy's son that the Indianapolis Colts were not coming back from it.
Then I corroborated it with the fact that resting your starters that much before playing in the playoffs is just asking to get scourged by the playoff whip, held by none other than the incomparable Rodney Dangerfield.
You know that guy has to be Satan. If there is a hell, he's running it. He definitely had something to do with making Dungy lose a playoff game just after losing his son.
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Is there a more fitting devil than Dangerfield, eyes bugging completely out of his head, clad in tight leather every day, jamming to Journey's "Any Way You Want It" Ö la Caddyshack as he lays the crushing pain to mortals up here just to watch them suffer? Got the mental picture? Good.
Now that the Colts and Peyton I-Will-Place-the-Blame-on-Every-Other Man-ning are gone, there's got to be hope for either Carolina or Seattle to do something with the opportunity.
As for Manning and his "I don't want to be a bad teammate, but we had some protection problems" comments after the game - and I might be going out on a limb here - maybe have a winning record in the playoffs before calling out an offensive line that helped you get to 13-0 in the first place. Manning is now 3-6 in said playoffs.
If Tom Brady wants to say after the game that hew slept with every one of his teammate's wives and sisters, and the resulting turmoil caused the Patriots to play like McNeese State against Denver, then fine. The last time Brady lost a playoff game, his butt chin didn't have a butt chin yet.
Denver has to face the league's scariest team in Pittsburgh, and with Jake Plummer running the show, I don't like the Broncos' chances. The Steelers win 17-14 in Denver as Plummer botches the game when he rolls to his left, throws across his body, tosses an interception, and then is kicked in the kidney by everyone on his offensive line as he lays on the field after the interception. You can only make a team endure Plummer for so many seasons before things get ugly.
The NFC stinks. Both Carolina and Seattle are total garbage. Take away one player on each of those teams, and any team capable of actually playing football - the Redskins are not one of those teams - beats them unmercifully.
I'll take Seattle over Carolina, 27-21, but let's get back to the point that these playoffs are controlled by Dangerfield. He let everyone's favorite quarterback-coach combination lose to the Broncos and then forced Dungy's team to fall to Pittsburgh, despite some odd and disgusting calls that everyone thought would give the Colts the game. You're going to tell me Dangerfield had nothing to do with Mike Vanderjagt's missed field goal?
In the Super Bowl is where old Mr. Bug Eyes will strike again, whip in hand, as he forces the Steelers to unfathomably lose to Seattle in the last game of Jerome Bettis' career in his hometown of Detroit.
Dangerfield will then promptly make a Satan pact with Tom Benson of the New Orleans Saints assuring him a Super Bowl victory in 2007 and eternal life for one night in bed together.
And I just threw up in my mouth.
