by John Bear
Daily Lobo
I have thought long and hard about this - almost an hour and a half. Give Bono the Nobel Peace Prize.
For one, it will motivate him to do more charity work and make less music.
Let's face it. U2 does, has and always will suck. I kind of liked that rap song the Edge did on Zoo TV. Remember that video with all the feet rubbing his face? Loved it.
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The Nobel committee keeps the list of nominees a secret, so only a fraction of this year's 191 potential winners has managed to leak out. Bono may not be the most worthy, but he is the most famous. Since most of the Western world functions under the delusion that celebrities' opinions are somehow more valid than say, a head of state, Bono is the man to go with.
This is unfortunate, but true nonetheless.
Speaking of heads of state, Colin Powell and John Bolton are also up for the award as are the president of Indonesia, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono and former president of Finland Martti Ahtisaari.
Skip Powell, because no matter how moderate he is, he still helped get us into this Iraq business. I don't know much about John Bolton other than being utterly terrified whenever I see his photograph - the guy just looks like pure evil to me.
The Finnish and Indonesian cats have names that are too hard for Americans to spell, and since we are the self-proclaimed masters of the universe, we demand waspy names to accompany Nobel Prize winners. True, Bono is Irish - his nationality more than likely gives him a fairly good understanding of what it feels like to not have anything to eat, which rationalizes his bid to end starvation - but that will have to suffice.
I realize that as masters of the universe, we can demand one of these fine Americans, but I cannot condone such warmongering against Iraq - I won't be surprised when it comes to the surface 20 years from now that Saddam Hussein had found a cure for cancer or AIDS and loved small children in a non-Michael Jackson sort of way. So they are out.
Come on, give it to Bono. At least he is doing something positive with his celebrity. He is trying to help starving children. Britney Spears and J-Lo are hawking cheap perfume. Mariah Carey is launching yet another celebrity clothing line. So is Bono, but he is donating some of the proceeds to combat AIDS in Africa. Remember Africa? The mother continent? It's in pretty bad shape.
At the end of the day, the Nobel Peace Prize is a pretty silly concept anyway. Have you looked at the world lately? It's a mess. There is no peace. And the guy the prize is named after invented dynamite. Yeah, that's been put to very peaceful use.
