Long live the one-upper.
I am attaching myself to this mantra so I can avoid future frustration with my friend who always does it better than me, or anyone else in his earshot.
“I have three dogs, and man, they can eat a 40-pound bag of dog food a week,” I say.
“Well, I have four dogs, and I had to take out a loan last month just to feed them,” he says.
If I have any money, he has more. If I have a good time, he has a great time. If I take 12 hours a semester, he takes 18 and works three jobs. What is the fascination with one-upping? I wonder if he even hears what I am saying, or just spends the time thinking of how he can possibly outdo anything I am about to say.
It must come from a lack of attention as a child. Maybe these people weren’t breast-fed?
Urban Dictionary defines the one-upper as “an annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic (or terrible) outcome.”
There are multitude of ways to handle the one-upper.
Here are a few suggestions: Move the conversation to fairness, rather than topics inciting competitive responses. If you deal with a food fanatic who is constantly eating at better and more expensive places, offer them the choice of eatery next time.
If you have a one-upper who is always dealing with more tragedy than anyone else, offer condolences and then change the subject.
The key is to remember that the one-upper isn’t trying to convince the whole world; he is trying to convince himself.
Before I tell my favorite one-upper, “up yours,” I try to find a little compassion, determine how important the friendship is to me and then exercise the patience I need to get through being one-upped — again.
The cost generally outweighs the benefits, and besides, he knows someone who is much worse when it comes to one-upping than he is.
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