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One UNM student has been sitting in front of a stretch-cotton canvas for five years without making a single mark, but he insists he will graduate soon.
Super-duper senior Vincent van Blow has reportedly picked up a paintbrush while in front of his hand-stretched canvas, but has yet to begin his work.
“Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going?” van Blow said, quoting Paul Gauguin as he furiously mashed the primary colors together on his palette in the Center for Fine Arts on Friday.
Van Blow’s senior adviser said that at this point, van Blow just needs to “fucking draw something” to graduate.
“He could throw feces at the canvas, draw a stick man or just fold it into a cool shape, as long as he writes an artist statement,” the adviser said. “Our standards are pretty rigorous, but I’m sure van Blow can rise to the challenge.”
Van Blow was last seen licking the canvas to get at the “true essence of the motif of nothingness.”
