Halloween is a night that means something different for everyone. Kids focus on all the free candy while many of their elders set out to drink obscene amounts of booze. It is a holiday that involves mischief, giving, frights, games and so much more.
But above all, Halloween is about dressing up. Whether it’s scary or funny, people love to dress up. Some people choose to dress up with controversial or potentially offensive costumes.
Here is a list of 2015’s top five most offensive costumes for those of you looking to piss your peers off this year.
Editor’s note: the Daily Lobo and its staff are not responsible for any offense caused by these costumes.
Many people know the recent struggles of the ex-favorite Subway poster-boy, Jared. This season, get all the awkward looks by dressing up as pre-indictment Jared Fogle. First you need a forest green shirt and visor, then throw in some khakis for good measure. If you want to go all out, use the iconic sandwich paper, stuff and tape to form a mock 6- or 12-inch sub. Take a page out of the “dick-in-a-box” skit and attach your mock-sub to the front of your belt. Hold a sign that says “kids eat free” and your work here is done.
Too soon?
It has been intermittently reported in the news that more and more people are dying in the pursuit of that perfect selfie. Honor our fallen brothers and sisters. Be a zombified selfie victim. All you need is a selfie-stick (homemade or genuine), fake blood (of course) and some indicator of what you were trying to squeeze your head into a frame with (i.e. shark bite/bull horns/cliffside or that flaming crème brulée that went awry).
Be the shamed sitcom star the tabloids can’t get enough of. The possibilities are endless for dressing as an old man facing multiple accusations of rape. The essentials: dye your hair grey, wear a tacky sweater and have candy that looks like memory-erasing pills. In addition, try to buy everyone drinks. Or if you’re feeling inventive, make Jell-O shots with a piece of “pill” candy suspended in each to pass out at the party.
All assumptions are that nobody will take the bait.
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As the title demonstrates, this one is a little touchy. If you so dare, make party-goers shudder while representing a very real issue occurring across the pond. What you’ll need is the migrant child’s attire: Red T-shirt, navy pants and Velcro shoes. Add makeup, some sand, a fake crab and a sign that says “Europe or bust” for desired effect. Become one of the many silent victims of the refugee crisis and let the political opinions fly.
With all the LGBTQ progress occurring in and out of the news, make your own statement this Halloween. Since the beginning of humans naming things, we have named storm systems/hurricanes as well. With the changing times, maybe we need to reevaluate. Whether it’s El Niño or La Niña, Katrina or Isaac, we have been gender-specifically naming storm systems, which could have an opinion of their own. This Halloween, dress up as Hurricane Pat/Patricia or La Niño/El Niña. First, hang some rain clouds/lightning bolts or wind lines on your shoulders. As for clothing, there are many avenues to take: do half your face in makeup or wear a half jean-skirt combo. Whatever you choose, make sure it brings justice to the long oppressed and pigeon-holed storm system.
Columbus Day was recently abolished in our city, a trend that is spreading fast across the nation. Imagine how Columbus would react if he were here, channel that and take it to the streets. The best way to go about this is to wear the traditional explorer garb of old and add some blood/zombie makeup. To finish off the idea, have a sign that says “abolish Indigenous People’s Day” or “I was here first.” People will get the idea – and you may get hurt. If that happens, you kind of asked for it.
Matthew Reisen is a news reporter at the Daily Lobo. He can be reached at news@dailylobo.com or on Twitter @DailyLobo.
