How much Tom Green can a person take?
“Stealing Harvard” is an inept, formulaic and problematic comedy starring Tom Green
playing another character loosely based on Tom Green. The sole saving grace of the film is Jason Lee, who does what he can with what little he is given — and he is given little.
The film centers around John Plummer, played by Lee, who stays in a relationship with his girlfriend, Elaine, even though he is clearly unhappy. Elaine is played by Leslie Mann and has some excellent one-trick jokes, such as her continuous weeping during times of intimacy.
One day John goes to see his sister, Patty, played by Megan Mullally, whose daughter, Noreen, is his only niece. Patty is on the lowest tier of income-earners in America and her daughter has never really known a father, so John does his best to be there at all her events.
As we are shown on a video though, John goes a little too far. After poor Noreen is eliminated from her elementary school spelling bee on the first word “tarp,” John tells her that she is a smart young girl. He tells her she is so smart that he guarantees that she will go to college. He even promises that when she gets there, he will pay for it.
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Well, now it’s time for Uncle John to pay up. Noreen’s gotten into Harvard and needs about $30,000.
His bank account holds exactly — gasp — $30,000, but he and his fiancÇ have been saving that exact amount so that they can put a down payment on a house and have a proper marriage.
After realizing that he made a promise to family, John decides that he must tell Elaine that he has to give the money to his niece. Of course, Elaine bids on the house with the money without his consent. They get the house, despite Duff’s — Green’s character also known as a thinly veiled Tom Green — attempt to put in a higher bid.
His phone call to the realtor ends with the phone being demolished.
John resorts to attempted robbery, both armed and unarmed, in his quest for the $30,000. Apparently, student loans don’t exist in this movie.
Still, this tidbit of intelligence is not nearly enough to make the movie worth seeing. Jason Lee seems out of place. He’s chosen excellent roles before, primarily in Kevin Smith movies. Tom Green is, as always, Tom Green.
The rest of the cast is unspectacular, the story is flat, uninspired and sparingly funny but moments of chuckles are spread too far and few between.
