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Culture

REVIEW: ‘Air’ is certainly a movie with a plot, but not much else

John Scott | April 10

If I had to pick an up-and-coming film trend bound to dominate both theaters and streaming platforms for the next couple of years, it would have to be the “nostalgia-ridden biopic featuring varyingly successful creative choices that feel subversive and fun for a subgenre largely dedicated to recounting real life stories.” This could describe a number of films released in recent years (2022’s “Weird: The Al Yankovic Story,” 2023’s “Tetris” and “Paint”). This list certainly includes “Air,” a film that is, if not anything else, moderately entertaining.

Culture

REVIEW: 'Bend Skin' is a short, powerful labor of love

Detroit Kallunki | April 10

Yomi Tafdor’s newly released poetry collection “Bend Skin” combines prose with beautifully complex traditional poetry and rhythm, and small, full-color abstract art by illustrator Nujhat Adrita. Much of Tadfor’s poetry is based around her identity and the way it has changed over time. Tafdor, a current student at the University of New Mexico, is originally from Cameroon. Much of her poetry is about the lived experience of marginalized people in the United States and the way her experiences have influenced her sense of individuality and personhood.

Satire

5 and Why: 5 answers to a question

Zara Roy | April 3

Many of us have been wondering this semester. Wondering who? When you what? And then? The Daily Lobo asked freshman philosophy student Virge Ihn his top five ways to tackle the question, “Who when you what and then?” Read on to find out how.

Satire

UNM to offer free hysterectomies

Lauren Lifke | April 3

March comemerates Women’s History Month and, although it just came to a close, the University of New Mexico already plans to offer a unique way to celebrate next year by offering free hysterectomies in the Student Union Building. It is a time to honor and acknowledge women’s history, including reproductive health, according to Wilson Park, the University’s Head of Completely Safe Activities.

Satire

UNM to build turnstiles around entire campus perimeter

Henry Hammel | April 3

In an effort to increase campus security and safety, the University of New Mexico has undertaken plans to add turnstiles around the perimeter of the entire main campus by April 1, 2024. Following the success of the newly implemented turnstiles at UNM libraries, university administration is implementing what they call a “natural” and “necessary” upgrade to this system.

Satire

Students fill Duck Pond with radioactive waste

Maddie Pukite | April 3

Over the duration of spring break, students at the University of New Mexico who remained on campus might have noticed giant white tents that popped up, covering the University’s Duck Pond. These tents were used to cover up nuclear engineering students using red solo cups to carry radioactive nuclear waste over to refill the pond, according to Byrce Adams, a student who participated.

Satire

Stokes awards ‘Hunger Games’ title, living wage to victor

Gabriel Garcia | April 3

University of New Mexico President Garnett Stokes presented the first annual Hunger Games award to Cat Nuncmuert, a graduate student from the English department, on Sunday, April 2 on the third-floor balcony of Scholes Hall. “On behalf of the Board of Regents, we are pleased to officially name English graduate student Cat Nuncmuert as the winner of the first annual UNM Hunger Games. Cat has demonstrated what being a Lobo is truly about with her perseverance, service and astute thinking,” Stokes said.

Satire

Albuquerque Raising Cane's grand opening … in 2060

Elizabeth Secor | April 3

Raising Cane’s in Albuquerque opened its doors on March 28, 2060, twenty years after the planned opening. Those gathered outside waiting to taste the infamous chicken said this was the eighty second time they showed up for its grand opening. After the COVID-19 pandemic, the first mass destruction of the city caused by the roadrunner stampede and Dion's’ monopoly on all fast food restaurants, Cane’s had no other option but to delay their opening until now, according to Chick Fila, the only remaining employee and owner of the restaurant.

Satire

Lobo Louie bites child in divorce aftermath

Elizabeth Secor | April 3

The University of New Mexico’s mascot Lobo Louie bit a child in the middle of a rampage on Wednesday, March 29. Earlier that day, Lobo Louie and fellow mascot Lobo Lucy finalized their divorce which occurred after it was revealed that Lucy was involved in an affair with New Mexico State University's mascot Pistol Pete.

Satire

UNM football to do worse with more funding

Miyawni Curtis | April 3

The University of New Mexico athletics department increased the football team’s budget to $50 million for the 2023-2024 year despite yet another disastrous season where they failed to beat even New Mexico State University in fall 2022. Experts believe the budget increase was a result of New Mexico State University beating the Lobos in the 2022 homecoming game after NMSU increased their training to up to two weeks a semester, according to an article written by NMSU’s Pistol Pete.

Satire

Swans gentrify Duck Pond

Marcela Johnson | April 3

As the weather warms up, life returns to the University of New Mexico Duck Pond. This year, however, the Duck Pond faces a new and unwelcome guest: swans, moving in to increase the property value and force the ducks to find new homes. Since the beginning of spring, swans have slowly been taking over the Duck Pond, according to Jeremiah Clack, the old man who walks around the pond on Tuesday evenings. It started slow — an artisanal pea bistro opened by the waterfall — but it has sped up in recent months. This unfortunate situation hurts the ducks and the surrounding ecosystem.

Satire

Humanities labeled ‘technically STEM’ by UNM

Daily Lobo | April 3

On Friday, March 31, a group of students at the University of New Mexico gathered in protest outside the philosophy department offices after the University declared the college of arts and sciences officially part of Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics.

Satire

Blood in the streets: ROTC performs military coup

Maddie Pukite | April 3

This past week, the ROTC led a coup d'etat that resulted in the ousting of Garnett Stokes as the University of New Mexico’s president and the installation of a puppet government.The cadets seized power after learning that there was an oil reserve under Stokes's house. The former president was arrested immediately on the grounds of caring too much about the environment. University officials reportedly regret “caring too much for the environment,” in light of the coup.

Satire

Student on trial for collecting too many parking tickets

Annya Loya | April 3

Undergraduate Laura Driver from the University of New Mexico will stand trial for collecting nearly 500 parking citations thus far in the 2022-2023 academic year, amounting to $12,500, according to Karen Patton, the University of New Mexico’s Parking and Transportation Service public information officer.

Satire

Straight White Male Resource Center fosters community for group in need of it least

Addison Key | April 3

The Straight White Male Resource Center has worked faithfully to create a vibrant community at UNM focused on raising visibility and support for all straight white males on campus. The center is delighted to bring resources and community to all students who qualify to the specific straight, white and male constraints, according to the center’s president Jake Micheals. Micheals — former social media director of Sigma Chi, 2019 Wii Golf Intermediate Level Champion and the loudest man in your political science class — is interested in providing services that combat hateful environments on campus and protect the privacy of its members (men who are straight and white).

Satire

Fraternities sign non-hazing pledge (wink)

Miyawni Curtis | April 3

This past weekend, fraternities at the University of New Mexico gathered at a summit on Johnson Field to sign a non-hazing pledge. They vowed to hold each other accountable and never again subject initiates to the cruel and unusual punishments that come with joining their organizations (wink). The men participating in the on-campus frats gathered unsupervised to conduct a meeting to write and sign the pledge; a passerby reported hearing gales of laughter from the gathering group.

Satire

This film is a positive adjective, negative adjective exploration of noun

Maddie Pukite | April 3

This past week, a new film was released in location. The adjective film starred name, a nepotism baby, who was more adjective than expected. Though the film was negative adjective, it ultimately past verb my expectations.

Culture

NM Renaissance Celtic Festival celebrates a culture of history and fantasy

Henry Hammel | March 30

The second annual New Mexico Renaissance Celtic Festival was held this past weekend, March 24 to 26, at Wildlife West Nature Park in Edgewood NM. The event, which also hosted a variety of Celtic, medieval, viking and pirate-themed celebrations, included vendors, performers, cosplayers and more. Eric Vigil, who also produces the annual Pirate and Viking Summer Bash, created this event in part to celebrate the Scottish clans of those who live in New Mexico. This year’s Celtic celebrations included local dance performances from the McTeggart Irish Dancers and Highland Dancers of Albuquerque, as well as music performances by Albuquerque-based artists.

News

ABQ Biopark Zoo wants your old cell phones

Miyawni Curtis | March 30

This spring, the ABQ BioPark Zoo asked the community to donate any old cell phones and electronics to help save chimps and other wildlife, according to the city of Albuquerque website. The ABQ BioPark will send outdated and old technology to be recycled through ECO-CELL, a company that focuses on recycling electronics. This is part of the Association of Zoos and Aquariums’ initiative “Gorillas on the Line,” according to Patrick Horley, ABQ BioPark aquarist.

Culture

REVIEW: Lana Del Rey’s latest album is an affectionate work from the complicated artist

Addison Key | March 28

In Lana Del Rey’s new album, “Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd,” released on March 24, she insists we are wrong about her. Del Rey embodies an attitude that succeeds in representing the violence and anxieties of girlhood, but fails to respond to her history of cultural appropriation. She fills 1 hour and 17 minutes with conflicted representations of family, memory and legacy. Her song “Grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he’s deep-sea fishing,” the 11th song on the album, begins by confronting common claims about her manufactured identity into her lyricism: “I know they think that it took somebody else to make me beautiful … but they’re wrong.”